Power Over Your Mind
What happens externally has little to do with what is when I am also battling internally. Accepting what happens has very little to do with having no knowledge or feelings about a situation or choosing to give up. It is choosing to work with the situation to gain understanding. Everyone can have a reaction and form their own viewpoint. Those opinions are not always based on the facts or relevant to what I am actually facing. What I receive externally and repeat to myself become stories that distract me from listening to my intuition. The significance of what I hear and playback grows with repetition and the attention that I feed it. I know that external reactions and viewpoints can pertain to the situation but it is my responsibility to reclaim my power, stick to reality and align with myself.
I remember this type of scenario coming up after both my brain surgeries. My first brain surgery was in the Summer before starting high school. I was nervous about meeting new people and I had a part of my head with shaved hair and scars. I had somebody worrying about how I would be accepted looking as I did. I didn't have energy to worry about looks and opinions because I had to get used to the fact that seizures were more frequent and a bigger concern. I couldn't allow stories about what people would think to distract me from getting to know the situation. I wouldn't allow my mind to explore any thoughts of unfairness about the situation. Because I told myself that God was not giving me anything I can't handle, I was able to concentrate on accepting my circumstances.
After my second surgery, twenty years later, I had a hemiplegic stroke in surgery and my family was upset. I was grateful to be alive and confused with how to continue on. I heard a lot of commentary about the unfairness of my circumstances and even some disapproval towards the surgeon but being angry, disappointed or sad didn't help me to feel hopeful or give me motivation to continue on. I reminded myself of how difficult it must be to be the surgeon operating on someone's brain to calm the anger and disappointment, and focused on the reality of my situation and what I needed and wanted to do to move forward. Letting go of the negativity cleared my mind so I could appreciate being alive and look forward to spending time with my child and family. When the confusion of opinions and ‘what ifs’ overwhelmed me, I reviewed what I did have and my past experiences to stoke motivation and return to my core purpose. I revived the belief that I wouldn't be given anything I can't handle.
Regardless of what I hear and choose to explore, it doesn’t change the situation and it is the choices I make that determines my reality. The record I choose to play in my mind must always reflect the person I am, the person I am growing into and align with the actions I make. When the flow feels turbulent, it is time to reconnect internally before acting externally. Without being grounded in who I am, I cannot share the best version of myself with others.
