Every Extra Effort is Self-Care

I have observed a lot of older people approaching retirement and visibly needing to take some extra small steps to accommodate the changes in their bodies and situations. One of the comments I hear the most is. “Ugh, this is old age. Soon, I'm going to need help with everything.” Despite the validity of what I hear, I can't help but disagree with the resignation I hear.

When I first observed this, I was in my thirties and was not close to understanding what the getting-older experience is actually. I knew of memory loss, foggy brain and an aching body but it had nothing to do with old age. Now, I'm in my forties and some of my symptoms feel closer to aging. I notice different parts of me diminishing because of aging changes and I, too, started getting annoyed and almost blamed old-age. Luckily, this started to happen as I was also reviewing my past experience and remembering that it isn’t who I am to blame circumstances and allow annoyance to turn into animosity that lowers my appreciation. I prefer to acknowledge my circumstances, understand what it means to me and grow with it. At first, I was easily annoyed that aging seemed to highlight my disability but then I started thinking of every extra small step of care as self-care instead of a proof of inability. Every time I feel my annoyance and am on the verge of complaining, I chant to myself, “Every extra step is part of self-care. I deserve to be cared for.”

With this chant, I focus on taking care of myself and am reminded that not all circumstances are within my control. I know that what I choose to think, feel and say will affect what the situation is to me. I prefer to stay connected to positive energy and appreciate a situation for what it is. There is nothing wrong with having different abilities today and requiring extra care because old age or circumstance doesn't reduce the care I deserve.