Discipline is Choosing
My life has taught me that considering what I want requires my attention, dedication and a willingness to consider issues beyond the external results. A lot of things in life can influence my judgment and it is my responsibility to connect to my core purpose before making my choice. It takes discipline to turn away from the temptations and follow what is not obviously there. Persistence and patience are required to grow steadily as changes occur.
When I was in high school, I wanted to be known for my hard work but I couldn't guarantee the perfection I thought was desired. I had to consider the possibility of a seizure altering my work. When a seizure did occur, I had a small moment to regather my senses and choose how to proceed. During the times I could sense the mess created, I had the choice of hanging onto the perfection I envisioned and be devastated that I couldn't have it or focus on being the person I wanted to be in the long-run(determined, vibrant and hopeful) and make-do to the best of my ability in the situation. I chose to not allow epilepsy to overcome me and focused on the actions that would contribute to the person I wanted to be. What was worked on and ruined had very little to do with the person being made with every occurrence.
My circumstances didn't offer me much time or options to work with, I had to know myself and be willing to stick to who I am in every situation. How the situation could be looked upon hardly mattered because it wasn't within my control. I could not prevent the seizures or its consequences, I could only try to make it as smooth as possible and clean up what I could after. Holding onto how I wanted to be remembered rather than concentrating on what I had wanted, I created a routine to follow that helped me to let go, discipline myself and move on. When a circumstance is out of my control, it is better to focus on contributing to what matters the most, align with my principles and not resist where the changes are guiding me. If a change must be made now then I will do my best to align it with what best serves the situation as a whole.
