Use Your Doubts and Worries as Mental Training

Photo By: Growtika https://unsplash.com/@growtika

I admit that there is no person who doesn't get plagued with self-doubt and worries in one moment or another. Through my experiences, I have come to understand the spark of uncertainty that leads me to doubt and worry as a signal to ground myself and prepare to move on as myself. 

When I first worried about outcomes and had doubts that made me think too greatly about what people would think of me, I was taking it too personally and losing sight of the purpose of my task. I didn't like how I let myself get distracted and wondered what I was meant to learn. Deciding that my worry had something to teach, I started letting my mind explore different scenarios and working with what I would do and why in the worst case scenarios. I remained conscious that these scenarios were unreal and used them to learn about myself and what I would do if it were to come true. Placing nothing against the opponents I created for myself, I concentrated on: getting to know how I would want to react, what decisions I could make and the purpose behind such choices. I made myself experience the worry and prepare for it in case it came true. 

I did a lot of this mental training, especially when I was going to meet new people. I wanted to be prepared to be myself (the teenager with seizures), know what to present to others for epilepsy awareness and have concentration for whatever task I was doing. Sometimes this preparation  was to prevent myself from hiding my epilepsy, as well as know what to do if the unexpected happened. Not all the training actually had to be used but the mental exercise helped me to get grounded and build confidence to be as I am in whatever circumstances. 

Nowadays, I use this training when I feel I might run into conflict. Whether it be an unexpected shift in events or a small disagreement with another person, letting myself explore the thoughts and feelings becomes a way for me to review who I am and the purpose I work toward. Mental training helps me to perceive situations from an outer view without emotional attachment and keep my mind in an open and calm state. Worries become useful tools to stay conscious of myself  and doubts are easier to understand and resolve.