Photo By: Chidera Faustina Okeke https://unsplash.com/@thefourthwxll
Delilah was a perfectionist who prided herself in being able to solve problems and get things done right. She avoided criticism, remembering too often the impossibility of gaining adult approval when she was a child. She was so used to hearing the opinions and negative comments against her that every time she made a mistake, she immediately thought, “They must be thinking…” and filled in the judgment she expected.
When Delilah became a parent, she tried her best to only pass positivity but she never lost her habit of thinking and saying, “They must be thinking…”
Delilah had a son, Brad, who turned out to be a daring risk-taker who gave little thought to what people thought of him. This delighted Delilah but it also made her uncomfortable every time she watched Brad do his thing. She wished she had her son's confidence but she couldn't shake the constant habit of worrying about what people thought. Sometimes, Brad would pull Delilah into his activities and she had no choice but to go with it. It risked her perfection but it was worth it for Brad's enthusiasm.
“Mom? Can we go to a comic show downtown? There are supposed to be cool shows and vendors to see!” Brad asked.
Delilah thought about it, she didn't really know downtown. “If you want to go, you will have to find all the information about it, okay?” Delilah replied.
“Okay. I can do that. Thanks, Mom!” Brad exclaimed before dashing off.
The night before the show, Delilah reviewed all the information and started mapping out where she would park and where and when they would go to catch the shows Brad wanted to see. Her nervousness was drowned out by Brad's excitement and Delilah also felt excited.
Driving on the road toward the comic show, they noticed the building crowd that gathered. A lot of people were headed the same way. Delilah hoped she got all the details right and wouldn’t be affected by the mass of people.
When Delilah reached the parking lot she planned to park in, the worker told her to park elsewhere because it was the lot for vendors. Okay, small mistake. Time to find a different route. As Delilah drove away, she laughed uncomfortably and said, “They must be thinking…”
“Who cares what they are thinking! We are humans who made a mistake and now we need to concentrate on a different route. Let them think what they want! They are not us, Mom!” Brad interjected before Delilah finished. Delilah swallowed her words and continued on with Brad at her side and they had a wonderful day exploring downtown and seeing everything that they wanted.
After the comic show, Delilah started taking her son's advice with her. Every situation when she starts to think, “They must be thinking…”, she would immediately remember Brad's voice saying, “Who cares what they are thinking! Let them think what they want! They are not us, Mom!” and did her best to continue on. When the situation bothered and drew her attention, Delilah would examine what was being reflected about herself and tend to the wounds to peacefully continue on. Delilah was grateful to have a confident example in her son to mirror and her habit of thinking and saying, “They must be thinking…” gradually ceased to exist.
