The Miracle of Surrender

When I first explored the word surrender, I imagined defeat and a feeling of weakness against something powerful. I thought that if I surrendered I would be expressing an unworthiness and giving up. My life taught me a different perspective. 

I was struggling with what happened to my body, a disease that was hard to explain and beyond my control. No matter how determined I tried to be, I could not avoid that it was there and a part of me. After attempts to outsmart it and turn away from it (which left me feeling alone and helpless), I decided to experiment with trying to embrace the situation. What would happen if I chose to accept it as a life companion? After many attempts to accept disruptions as part of the process, I started to get more comfortable with what I could not explain and felt more understanding for why situations happened. I discovered that surrendering to what I didn't know was not defeat or weakness, it is a choice to embrace the unknown and learn with it. Over time, when circumstances overwhelm me into feeling helpless, I understand it as a sign to admit what is not mine to control and open myself to learning. I know to take a deep breath, place my trust in life and say, “I surrender to you. Please guide me to where I am meant to be.” and let go of my preconceptions.

Surrender is now my action to accept and learn with the circumstances that are unraveling. I feel more at peace in choosing to walk alongside what is than to act strong against what is not mine to control. Acceptance is a key that leads to understanding and taps into the strength held within.