Fear Transforms Into Curiosity

There is no denying that I will encounter situations that don't feel right or trigger unwanted memories but when I set my mind to look for ways I can grow from it the reaction that triggers worry,doubt and fear is diluted by curiosity. Instead of resisting the circumstance, I am motivated to experience and learn with it.

For most of my life,  monotonous sounds would trigger sensations in my body that caused me to prepare for a seizure. Whether it is people talking around me, someone washing the dishes with running water or the fan turned on in the bathroom, a headache would start and my body tenses and tingles. Today I know that it isn’t a seizure coming on and to defeat my habit, I make myself take in the experience. As I feel the tingling and slight headache, I start breathing while listing in my mind all the reasons why I no longer must worry. I focus on what is now while reciting caring words to remember that I am safe. I can now let myself go and let the experience run its course. I come out of them knowing that I have made a small change to my mind's programming.

With every practice, the reassurances are easier to recite, the old reaction lessens and I can let myself enjoy the experience. What used to trigger fear can now be used to learn what my reactions mean to me and move beyond what used to be..