Blessings in Disguise

This quote states the theory I have carried with me throughout my life. No matter what feeling and emotion are triggered by a situation, I know that to judge it is to act hastily instead of patiently observing how it serves the whole. I am aware that I don’t have to like what is happening and that concentrating on that will distract me from recognizing the subtle gift being offered.

When I was a teenager living with epilepsy, I strived to have my projects laid out perfectly for presentation. No matter how much effort I put into perfection, I couldn't avoid having to change should I have  a seizure. There were times when I would wake up to a complete mess and had to make-do with what was left to complete my task. I would walk away from the situation appearing calm but I was filled with an inner fury as I reviewed what felt like time wasted on something I wasn't allowed to have. At the time, I thought the flawless execution of my project was what determined success, so disappointment ran wild. After I calmed myself and let the experience sink in, I'd start to explore different perspectives to counter my disappointment. When the situation was not about the schoolwork, I recognized alternate successes, like how I held myself together and adapted to the best of my ability. What happened became less centered on meeting an expectation and became about training how to be myself in adverse circumstances. Yes, I failed in presenting the way I planned to but I succeeded in not failing by continuing on.

Due to the repeated practice of such situations, I know now that when I don't like what is happening, I should remain calm without judgment to observe until the process is complete. Not allowing my reactions to distract me, I am open to recognize the small gifts unfolding before me. What begins  like a situation against me evolves into meaningful advice exclusively for my discovery.