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I know a person who is allergic to legumes and it's surprising to witness that they must be most careful around their family members. I'd like to think that family members would know and care about us but it's easy to forget that everyone gets caught up in what they are doing and can't help but project what means something to them. A family full of bakers who love to trade tastes and creations over the holiday season, sometimes they forget that a family member simply can't have what they make. I've watched them merrily sharing their creations and getting others to taste what they enjoyed. Even a mother who cares greatly for her child occasionally forgets the allergy in her excitement for her child to taste the delicious treat. In the aspect of a mother, I wonder how she could forget but from the aspect of someone lost in enjoyment and meaning well in sharing, I know that she can't help it and isn't meaning any harm.
Admittedly, a mother is human and it's not her responsibility to know her child at every moment. She must tend to herself first and can only try her best with others.
For the person with the ailment, it is their responsibility to stay aware and pay attention at every moment. They are entitled to refuse offers and must be willing to accept the consequences if they don't.
In my experience living with a disability, I, too, have had occasions when I desired care from the people around me but had to realize that I must tend to myself. Despite having family and friends that care deeply for me, life often took their attention away and there was no reason to argue its necessity. As much as I wanted to be cared for, I ended up realizing my capability and responsibility when I felt forgotten. There is no denying that I also have my moments of feeling neglectful of others when I have issues to tend to. So when I feel myself judging someone for seeming to forget me, I remind myself to consider where that person is at the moment and re-examine whether I truly require someone else to do what I'm able to do on my own.
