The Reprogramming in Habits We Don't Consider
Photo By: Anthony Tran https://unsplash.com/@anthonytran
When I was a child, I used to get excited for the new year and try to be ambitious by setting resolutions, choosing habits to correct to improve myself. I admit that I wasn’t always successful with my resolutions and I thought it was a normal thing that everyone tried but brushed them off as March rolled in. I wondered why habits were hard to break but, at the time, I didn't have any bad habits that greatly impacted my life.
In my life today, I'm working to recover from my hemiplegic stroke and figuring out who I am and how I can live without the seizures I had. A few months ago, I realized that I had to change my thinking patterns to move on from my seizure days. I knew I'd be paying close attention to my thoughts and have to talk to myself to program new patterns into my subconscious mind.
Playing with physical recovery and paying attention to the fear that I felt with progress, I realized that my subconscious seizure programming was on automatic and it was preventing me from moving forward. Every progress reminded my body of the old days. With new sensations feeling like auras before seizure, I noticed that I immediately lessened my activity and searched for safety. My immediate reaction caused anxiety and parts of my body tightened making physical movement more dangerous.
It would've been easy to just stop and tell myself I was doing it for safety but I realized that I had to face the fear, break and reprogram my subconscious or remain stuck where I am. In all the times I experimented with reforming habits, I hadn’t thought about subconscious programming and its ties to fear and memories. I've worked plenty of times on creating new habits but I never considered the feelings and emotions tangled in it or how much concentration it takes to catch the quiet thoughts and work to alter them. The comfort created in the method for safety made my mind want to stop trying and I had to refocus on my goal every time I felt it happening. It wasn't laziness or lack of ambition (what I judged myself with every time physical movements halted) that I was experiencing, it was the repetition to protect myself and my misunderstanding of my body that kept getting away. Only two years ago did I realize that my physical consciousness was muted as seizure protection. Even though I knew this, I had to spend time listening and getting to know my body before trying bigger feats in physical recovery. I hadn’t thought that I was scared but I also never admitted the impact that daily seizures had on my mind.
As I've always loved using mind games to support my ambitions, face challenges and grow, the realization to reprogram my subconscious mind and face my fears in a new light to achieve recovery is my new adventure.
If I spoke to anyone who was having a hard time breaking a long-held habit, I'd want to ask them to examine how that habit started for them. If it is a comfort zone for them, I'd suggest that they pay attention to their actions every time they notice it coming up. To correct the habit, it's going to require a lot of constant self-examination and duels with your old self. Try not to judge yourself for slip ups, stay focused on your dream and take everything that occurs as a step forward. Remember that not every step will be the same or even feel like progress but if you keep conscious of where you're heading then that is you reprogramming your mind.
