Resolve Rather Than Push Away
Jessica drove home from her surprise birthday party feeling loved and wanting to give back. Her best friend, Tamara,with her husband, Kyle, arranged for family and close friends to celebrate her eightieth birthday and managed to surprise her. She wasn't normally a person who wanted attention drawn towards her but as a widow who lived on her own without children, she felt loved and cared for.
Driving quietly on the night road, Jessica remembered that Tamara and Kyle's anniversary was upcoming. Perhaps, she could do the same for them and arrange a surprise party. Jessica started to feel excited! What better way to show her gratitude than by doing the same for her dear friends? It could be tricky but she could ask Tamara's son for help.
Six months later, Jessica set up a meeting with Tamara's son, Michael, to start planning the party. Jessica was so excited and determined to surprise her friends that she left little room for negotiations.
Approaching the anniversary, Tamara was feeling ill and didn't want any attention brought her way. She knew her anniversary was coming up but became certain that she didn't want a big celebration. She became so certain that she told her son, “Mike,I definitely don't want any gatherings for the anniversary. It's not best right now.”
Michael stared at his mother uncomfortably. Tamara noticed and asked, “Mike, did you start planning something?”
“Uh, well, not exactly. Jessica did ask me to help her plan it.”
“What!” Tamara exclaimed. “How could she be so mean?!? I'm hurt! She didn't even ask me about it! Who is she to think that she can take control of my anniversary! And, you!?! How could you just go along with it? Do you have no consideration for my feelings?”
“Mom. Calm down. Remember how you didn’t ask Jessica when you planned her surprise birthday party six months ago? Well, she was so grateful, she wanted to do something for you and dad. She just wanted to do for you what you did for her because she loves you. She doesn't know that you're having problems right now and wouldn't want a party because she thought it should be a surprise. I'm only helping because I believe you deserve to be loved as well. If you really don't want it, I can tell Jessica.”
Tamara stared at Michael in astonishment. “Oh, I hadn’t thought of it that way. I'm sorry, I overreacted. Feeling unwell has been messing with me. It’s okay if you plan with Jessica. I did the same for her recently so I can't blame her.”
In life, our personal issues can cloud our minds and cause us to react without thinking. Sometimes, we miss good intentions and rationalize our story to justify what we don’t understand, pushing away the love we're being offered. It's important to know ourselves, be open to what others offer us and accept love for what it is. It may not be as we envisioned or what we think is best, but we shouldn't deny the intention. Try to stay open to what you receive and figure out why you react negatively to resolve yourself. Don't place blame on others based on a reaction. It's the thought that counts!
Dekler Ph https://unsplash.com/@deklerph
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