My Freedom
“Freedom is not about non-attachment to a person or thing. Freedom is about being truly,madly and deeply attached to your own soul that you can't bear a life that doesn't honor it.” - Andrea Balt
I’ve often felt the wonder around how I live my life and why I choose to keep going. Reading this quote inspired me to reflect on why I am presenting Perseverance Girl to the World.
I’ve lived most of my life with a neurological disease. For twenty-four years, I had a brain tumor as a companion that dealt me daily seizures and head trauma. In 2015, my brain tumor was resolved with brain surgery, in which I had a hemiplegic stroke. Though life is nothing as I thought it should be, I am blessed to have a rich experience to grow from. Despite my physical limitations, I live freely and devote myself to sharing hope, love and perseverance with enthusiasm.
As a young child, I learned (outwardly) that Freedom was when you achieved a position in the world where you'd be financially stable to do as you please without struggle or needing support. This picture depicted the need to impress the mass and have understanding to carry the world. Observing the examples of this freedom, I imagined a constant worry to chase what others wanted and having to stick to a character with minimal change. Was this even possible? How would I feel if I couldn't change or grow into more?
Inwardly, I wanted my freedom to be my knowing who I am inside and out. I wanted my soul to be a part of my body and to live with a balance of mind and heart. Wanting freedom to be my ability to listen and work with my soul, I discovered how challenging it was to make this known outwardly. Nobody could see or measure what I worked on. I could only hear about what they saw and it never aligned with what was expected outwardly. I tried my best to adjust to fit in while not letting go of my soul. On top of trying to adjust, my body gave an impression of my limitations. My seizures could easily be assumed against me but I couldn’t just believe without wanting to know why. If spirit is beyond the physical, who says that there isn't another purpose? Knowing that I kept falling but never to a point of incapability, I believed that Life was working with me and that I was protected despite the ailments I had to endure. I believed that Life was trusting me to do my work and that every trial was training toward what I was becoming. I kept returning to Life with love and promising to give back as best I could. In recognizing the care that I received, faith that I was meant to follow my soul's calling and work with Life became my salvation from my physical limitations.
I never understood the concept of giving up or remaining in one mindset because that made me feel like I was breaking Life's trust and, ultimately, betraying myself. I believe that I'm the luckiest person alive because I’m connected with who I am and everything I do is to honor Life. Life has offered me a diverse existence that lets me experience everything.There's nothing I'm not a part of unless I let my mind believe without my heart and there's nothing that I'm not achieving when I know I'm following my soul's path. For every time I honor my soul, I'm growing into who I am and never second guessing what it means to me. Overall, my freedom is being devoted to who I am, body, mind and soul. I am who I’m meant to be as long as I’m dedicated to growth and working with what I’m offered to honor my existence.
