Know When to Ask for Building Tools

I’m often asked why I don’t choose to ask for help, why I let my issues build and spill out messily. I used to feel guilty the moment I’m asked. It isn’t my intention to doubt the care that people want to share with me. Living with an invisible disability that is hard to understand, I’ve experienced many uncertain reactions to my situation. I can recognize the well-meaning intentions but the uncertainty I pick up on further confuses me. The more theories I pick up the more I can’t hear myself. It has become my practice to find something in my confusion that I want to work on before approaching another person. I’ve learned that if I approach someone in confusion, I will trigger their confusion, receive advice that may not apply to me and feel focused on my differences. There are times when this is necessary and there are times when I must sort out my confusion on my own.  

We all have moments when we choose to keep going and appear as if we’re resolved but carry what isn’t resolved with us. I’ve learned that in moments of transition the unresolved issues stored in my subconscious will spill into related issues I’m dealing with and create a big lesson to face. I may not like how I appear in those moments, but I must let it play out to learn my lesson and overcome the hurdle. 

Try to know as much about yourself and what you want to resolve before asking for help. Despite feeling helpless in the moment, you are strong enough to support who you are and it’s up to you to remain on the track meant for you. Try to think of advice from others as extra building tools instead of the answers that should be followed. Every alternative we encounter holds potential, but we must know where we are and where we’re headed before taking our next step. What we hold within is as valuable as what we find externally, and we deserve to embrace who we are.  

Photo by: Brett Wharton https://unsplash.com/@brettwharton