Can You Do Without Expecting?
When I was religious and a member of the Roman Catholic Church, I was a young adolescent who had just started having seizures. At a loss for answers, I turned to the church in hope to search deeper and find my understanding. I attended mass weekly and volunteered for the church but I was there to learn from the teachings and carry them out with me into the world. I couldn't just follow what I was being taught, I wanted to feel it before determining if it was for me. At one point, I couldn't recite prayers without feeling what the words meant to me and I started to misunderstand why people said that prayers had to be known. There wasn't much teaching about what the words referred to and why.
Because my parents were of different religions, I started to explore other religions. They all had roots in God being of unconditional love, respect and humility but why would they be so against each other? Are we being humble by following one way to prove that another way is not as important? Are we loving unconditionally when we decide that we oppose what we do not understand? Are we being humble and selfless when we're thinking that performing for our religion will earn us good graces later on? These are the questions that drew me away from choosing a religion for myself, to start looking into why people do what they do and getting to know my purpose. This started my practice of always searching for understanding in whatever happened, even if it was not in my control. I took notice of what I wanted and what I could control to balance my expectations. Some things are simply not meant to be but actions still need to be carried out. It was in conclusion that I had limited control that I decided I would try my best no matter the outcome and my practice of doing without expectation developed. Placing my efforts on contributing to what I believed in became enough without needing to control how it turned out or concentrating on desired outcomes.
Photo By: Tom Parsons https://unsplash.com/@tomzzlee
